Dear Kirstie,

its been a bit of a long week. i've been sick the whole week.., it started Saturday night. I took to work this tea I got the last time I was ill from the Chinese market. This time I really drank a lot.. it is a clod and flu time tea... it really helped. I feel better.
Tuesday i pulled ST out of school dor a trip to Downey's market... my friend Mark was telling me about it and during the week its only $5 to get in. So, we went. We had a good time. No one was there. We fed goats, sheep and a Llama. They had a hay jump and a very cool maze. we found 6 of the 10 stations before we pooped out. Craig was laughing at us because I was using my phone to keep track of the route and was sending text messages "left.left/straight/ right" etc.
Did I tell you we are feeding Squirrels? Sheay named them... Nuts and Raisin. They come right to the door and take the peanuts right from your hand. They only like peanuts. We fed them almonds once when we ran out, but it did not go well... they accidentally bit Sheay's finger.

She is fine of course.

Peter is off to Barrie for Thanksgiving weekend. I am glad he is with family over the weekend. I wanted to invite him here, but I am on call and it would just figure I get called and have to leave. Craig and I are trying to be there for him as much as we can.

peter sent me a text to tell me he is going back to bed. I offered him the same offer as you.. call me anytime... I am always there for a dear friend no matter the time. Joanna has taken me up on it.. and I am always grateful when someone thinks enough of me to reach out and accept the offer.

Last week Simon (co-worker) asked me in a quiet moment how I was... i could tell it was more than just a casual question. I asked him what he meant. he said that if he had just lost his best friend, he'd be in rough shape. it a was a hard question to answer, since he does not know the back-story with the Toad Queen.. and what it means.
I told him i was doing ok... but at work I am expected to come in and do my job and they have a business to run, so would not appreciate a basket case. He said he figured things bothered me more than they showed. i him he was right... that I cried everyday. just not at work. Simon has been the only person that has come right out and asked me or approached me up front about your loss. But i understand.. most people don't know what to say... they are perhaps afraid of saying the wrong thing.. it is uncomfortable for them. I get it. I found it very touching that Simon asked about me... he related a story of his loss too... grade 9 girlfriend work up one day with a headache... they found out she had 2 brain tumors and from summer to October 1st she died. Simon was devastated. I felt honored he shared that with me.
It just seems to illustrate the unfairness of it all.

Dear Kirstie,

its been one week since the funeral... it was a very long week here.. much longer for Peter. i've tried to give him some space... i don't want to crowd him... I guess I'm just not sure what he needs right now... As always, i wish you guys were closer to me... or I you. Then i could pop over like I want to... just drop off some dinner for Peter, or just to say hi.
peter is having a rough go of it today... i am not sure what to do aside from offer support. I'm very worried. i miss more than ever your sound advice and insights to what people need or the best thing to do.

Craig and I are trying to help him... i wish I knew what to do. Were he closer I would drop it all and go over... but I know peter likes his privacy too.

I mean for this to be an outlet for me today, but I am twisted into a knot about Peter now. I think I will give him a call... I hope that is the right thing to do...